Miss you so much, dad
Remembering today.. close to midnight, two years ago, tonight… still could make my eyes wet with tears, just like now..
I was there, only staring at my dad’s face when he took his last breath in the ICCU room, Dustira Hospital, Cimahi, West Java.. July 20th, 2005.. around 23.50, i couldn’t remember the exact time..
My dad, the man that i always seen as a very strong person, fight from heart attack, diabetic, and kidney failure.. I couldn’t think or did anything.. I’m useless.. even not long before the very time of that last breath, i still laughing, bcoz it might be the tenths times he has to stay at the hospital for the reason that he couldn’t stand for the hurts that he felt.. and we think it just another hospital stays and in a couple days he will be back with us to our home again..
Me and my brother was standing there, and my mom still finishing her Yassin reading when my dad was passed away, and realize that her husband has gone at the time she finished the read.
Now, even if it has passed for 2 years, i still feels that it was too soon he left us.. I wasn’t a men yet, I don’t know nothing about living without him, I still have too many sins which i still not yet ask for his apologize… and i don’t know how to take care of the family he left..
He still the man that i want to be like, with all his kindness even with the hard way he showed to us, with all his strength to face anything that could ruin his live and family, with all the good he had..
Dad, I’m still not the best kid you want me to be even after this long, and i couldn’t be as good as you.. I was not a good kid, and maybe still I am now.. and I really missing you now.. I still need you to show me the way to be a good man.. and now i don’t know how to be as good as you..
I never have the chance, or maybe the courage to say this when you are still here with us, but I really wishing that You really know that I really love you , Dad..
Pa, Erik kangen banget sama papa…
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Tanggapan dari andryan
melayang pada 21 Juli 2007 pukul 918
It’s a hard thing when we have to live our life without our father’s guidance. Lately I feel the same way with you. I try to think the opposite way that this is a chance to grow up freely and to become something that I always wanted to be. But when I look around I realize that I can’t grow up as free as I want. There’s always boundaries or limits that have been created by situation or other people. But, lot of peoples have more difficulties compare to me and they’re passing it, so I guess some way I can and will pass it to.
By the way, why that we (you, me and Danil) almost have the same fate after we joint Fujicon? We sat nearby, we’ve lost our fathers, we quit from our job and moved to Jakarta and live alone. There’s only one big different between us. Danil already have his “Superboy” that make him look younger than before.
Tanggapan dari budi
melayang pada 22 Juli 2007 pukul 1528
I can feel your imagine, when one of two our ‘wing’ is broken or left. it’s hard to start and keep moving then flying although by a wing. but it’s must ! there some super power in somewhere that will help you to make you keep moving and flying, then grow up to reach your destination, because so many thing that you have done for your future until you have a new family, and finally its just to be a memories when you were alone. I believe that will appear and grow up a new wing and make your flying to be completely and hold a new wing. so your wing not just 2 but more !
regard for my friend Erik.
Tanggapan dari Echi
melayang pada 24 Juli 2007 pukul 950
Sometimes..
Life doesn’t seem so fair. Ada yang dipanggil duluan. Erik, dengerin hati kamu. Your beloved father will always stay there… right?
Tanggapan dari knia
melayang pada 24 Juli 2007 pukul 2036
Allohumaghfirlahu warhamhu wa’afihi wa fuanhu….
Tanggapan dari Yudhi
melayang pada 24 Juli 2007 pukul 2326
merinding baca nya om :).sabar mang.. sabar.kirimin AL FAATIHAH mang,jgn lupa :).
Tanggapan dari tribas
melayang pada 25 Juli 2007 pukul 2308
Rik…
Senyum donk…
Tanggapan dari haruka
melayang pada 26 Juli 2007 pukul 1857
erik..
I don’t know what should I say..
but remember your father already forgive you..exacly..coz he is your father and you are his son…
and I’m here for you , rik.
Tanggapan dari rusty
melayang pada 30 Juli 2007 pukul 1351
when i read your post, i think i can understand how you feel ..
compared to you maybe i’m a little bit lucky for still having my father.
sometimes when he is not around me, i imagine myself without him..
and i think i will be left broken, un-guide for the rest of my life..
so, saying that i can understand you feeling is probably right, but since i still have my father it doesn’t sounds right too …
but anyway, keep smiling and know one thing, when your feeling sad and down you can always count on the people who love you and of course your friends ..